Menopause - an interview with an expert

What a show today! I get to interview Rhonda Jolliffe, the founder of rhondanp.com.  What's so great about the show today? We have one of the most honest and frank conversations about menopause ever!  Rhonda has great insight for women who might be experiencing menopause but we also address how menopause impacts a relationship and what to do about it.

  • About 20 years helping women through menopause
  • The creator of rhondanp.com
  • Get a free course, just visit rhondanp.com/smalley
  • Understand the positives of menopause.
  • Does menopause help creativity for women?
  • What are some of the best things women can do for menopause?
  • Tips for husbands with wives going through menopause.
  • Andropause, it’s menopause for men!
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How to end it well

Today Seth Johnson is taking over the show. So everything we talk about is something he wanted, and he got.

  • Seth wants to talk about ending well.
  • Every good thing sometimes comes to an end
    • Dating, marriage, business, etc.
  • How to end well
    • “Ending well means intentionally setting aside time for reflection and acknowledgment, time to name the cost, the enormity of the work and everything that has gone into it, and name the moments of grace and beauty that helped carry us through.” The Allender Center
    • Don’t dismiss it or avoid it
    • Embrace the awkwardness
    • Don’t lie
  • What are your favorite memories?
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The over spiritualization syndrome

Uncategorized

A single guy asked a question for the show that hit some serious buttons for me. I wouldn’t say I’m angry, because I’m not, but I am definitely worked up because I feel like single Christian people get themselves into the most ridiculous situations because...well, I’ll save the rest for the show.

“My ex girlfriend and I have been in and out of a relationship for the last two years. we recently started talking again. The reason for the in and out is because she went on a missions trip and started to feel like God may be calling her to full time ministry in another country. We both want to get married but everything that she feels God has been doing in her life over the past two years doesn't allow us to grow in our relationship because of the lack of security of not knowing if she will even be around for much longer if God "calls her" to the mission field. She has been unsure of her calling and doesn't know for sure if God is calling her so she's been...

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Does what we teach possibly harm your relationship?

“You've talked about taking a timeout when things get too heated. I feel my husband uses this phrase as a way of avoiding the problems we face. Unfortunately, communication in our marriage has become so unpleasant and difficult that timeouts have become a lifestyle and we have virtually no communication. I'm talking like years and years, at least 15. At this point I feel we have no connection and no relationship, along with so many unresolved issues I don't even know where to start. We have been married for 35 yrs. I don't want to give up, but I do not want to live the rest of my life with a hostile stranger. HELP!!!”

  • Why in the world could everything we teach be bad?
    • Because you can twist anything good and make it bad...anything!
    • This is why Jesus made such a big deal about our hearts, our intentions, the true desire behind our actions.
  • It matters WHY you are doing something.
    • Timeouts are good, but bad when
      • “I feel my husband uses this phrase as a way of...
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Is it ok to walk away from your marriage?

Today we take on one of the shortest, yet intense question asked by a listener yet! I’ll just let you read it for yourself, “Is there a walking away point in marriage?”  I don’t know...is there? We’ll answer this question on today's show.

“My wife wants a divorce, I do not. She wants the four kids and I am supposed to move out. I want reconciliation, she says ‘No chance, ever!’ What do I do?”

  • Respect the boundary even though it seems counterproductive
  • Give her the space she is demanding
  • Let her know you would love a chance to hear what you can do to repair the relationship, but you’ll be patient till she is ready
  • In the meantime
    • Get help
    • Counseling, mentor, discipleship
  • Make changes
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Talking to yourself makes a huge impact

On Saturday Night Live, a character named Stuart Smalley used to say, “I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and dog gone it people like me.” I’m not sure we’ve ever had a better introduction to the show...ever! Today we discuss the benefits of talking to yourself and how it can positively impact your relationships.

An articles in the NY Times by Kristin Wong “The Benefits of Talking to Yourself”

  • Talking to yourself can impact you positively when it comes to relationships
  • Two types of talking to one’s self
    • Instructional self-talk
      • Talking yourself through a task
    • Motivational self-talk
      • “I can do this!”
  • It doesn’t have to be out-loud, internal self-talk works too
    • Ethan Kross, a professor of psychology at the University of Michigan
      • They found that when their subjects talked about themselves in the second or third person — for example, “You can do this” or “Jane can do this” instead...
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The Church Marriage Strategy

Why we are doing a show like today is beyond me! Because I know at first, you’re going to be thinking to yourself, “How is this going to help me? I’m not a pastor or a leader at a church.” Well my listening friends, all that needs to change today. Because you need to know what an effective church marriage strategy looks like so you can begin harassing your church leadership to implement it. But it can also help your relationship specifically, if you’re willing to do the same things for your own marriage.

  • The Church Marriage Strategy
  • What every church in the world should be doing
    • Why don’t they, because pastor’s marriage isn’t up to snuff
    • They don’t want to come across condemning to those who have divorced
    • They don’t want to “support” divorce
  • What best describes the marriage ministry in your church?
    • An event we do every year in February
    • Our pastor preaches on marriage at least once a year
    • We have a...
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A conversation with the "Sex Master" Dave Willis

What's healthy when it comes to sexual intimacy in marriage? This episode is definitely not for little ears, a warning to those parents who might not want their kids to hear an honest and frank discussion about sex. I've got Dave Willis on the show and we don't shy away from anything when discussing sexual intimacy.

And it all started because of a bizarre new trend in wedding photography!

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Benefits of a lion attack - sort of

I am the survivor of a vicious lion attack.  It happened this past June, and it may be the reason our family is closer than ever.  What is the secret to a close-knit family?  Unfortunately, many times the answer is painful, scary, frustrating, or humiliating…but we’ll give you the answer coming up next.

SHOW NOTES

  • This is one of the great legacies my father left me after he graduated to heaven.
  • The secret to a close-knit family is…Trauma, camping, accidents, basically…when things go wrong.
  • Families who play together stay together.
  • But much of the bonding depends on how your family handles the hard times.
  • Treasure hunting your trials
    • How has God improved us through this experience…how has it made us better
    • How was God faithful
    • What did we learn
    • How might God use this in the future to help others
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What if she does come back - Hero's Guide to Winning Back Your Wife

It’s the ninth show in our series called, The Hero’s Guide to Winning Back Your Wife! It is the final show (until Seth reminds me that we need to do a wrap-up show) of the series. Last show we had to walk you through the possibility that your wife won’t come back. This week we get to give you the most important things you need to do if she does come back. This is going to be way more positive…which always makes me happy. And, you’re going to learn exactly what you have to do each day, each week, and each year moving forward so your relationship continues to get better.

SHOW NOTES

If you want to listen to all the episodes in this series, just click here.

  • What if she does come back
  • You’ve taken all the things we’ve encouraged you to do, and it’s worked!
  • But now, you really do need to be like a hero
    • Celebrate, but don’t settle
    • You must become a lifelong learner
    • You need to keep discovering and becoming a PhD of your wife
  • What...
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