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Feeling overwhelmed by "Flooding"?

 

Dr. John Gottman writes:

We all know what it’s like to get carried off by some rough emotional currents when we are dealing with our mate. These aren’t the day-to-day flashes of anger or hurt. I am talking about the giant waves of bad feelings that completely knock you down and take any rational thought with them. This is how it usually goes. You are in the middle of a conflict or disagreement, your partner says or does something, and suddenly you fall down a deep dark rabbit hole. The only notes you register are rage, hurt, panic, and fear.

Ever think, "Why do our arguments feel insane? I end up overwhelmed and totally discouraged"? On August 7th learn why "Flooding" derails your relationship.  More importantly, learn how to eliminate "Flooding" from your arguments! 

If you want to turn arguments from miserable moments to opportunities for deeper intimacy, educate don't degenerate by:

  1. Focusing on the good and dealing with the bad
  2. Take a Sacred Pause to...
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The Warriors Marriage Part One

Who are you?

  • A crisis of life - My own journey of identity
  • I had all the head knowledge
  • My actions showed I didn’t actually believe it

These choices reflect who we are and what we value.

  • It’s important not to identify just as a wife or a soldier. You are far more than that.
  • We get in trouble when we allow our parents or society to define who we are (e.g., the pursuit of materialism, power, and appearance).
  • Identity may be acquired indirectly from parents, peers, and other role models.
  • Children come to define themselves in terms of how they think their parents see them.
    • If their parents see them as worthless, they will come to define themselves as worthless. People who perceive themselves as likable may remember more positive than negative statements.

To be more satisfied in your relationship means living in harmony with who you really are.

  • You are not a reflection of the life around you.
  • You aren’t just a wife, husband, warrior, or anything of this world....
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Repent Matthew 4:17

28 Statements from Jesus that will Transform Your Marriage

Part 1 - The critical importance of intimacy with Jesus

Repent Matthew 4:17

  1. Listen to this devotional on my podcast
  2. 'From then on Jesus began to preach, “Repent of your sins and turn to God, for the Kingdom of Heaven is near.”' Matthew 4:17
    1. A true disciple is not first a learner or reader of his words.  You are a doer. In v19 Jesus says, “Come follow me”.
  3. The first command of Jesus’ public ministry was, “repent”.
    1. Jesus wants an inward change because nothing else will stick if you don’t first address YOU
  4. Your actions need to be immediate
    1. v20 “Immediately they left their nets and followed him.”
    2. A friend’s wife was giving a sermon where she shared this same advice, because it’s what she did.  Drugs, alcohol, miserable. Meets a janitor at the church who tells her to repent and go and tell everyone that she now believes in Jesus.
    3. Repent is...
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The time I kissed a girl and then…

Day 6 - The time I kissed a girl and then…

Yesterday I shared the time I was patient zero in a meningitis outbreak in Conroe Texas.  Today you get to hear when I was patient zero at Kanakuk Kamp in Branson Missouri! It involves my first ever kiss with a girl I wasn’t dating and more! 

BUILD A BETTER LIFE WITH… 

Real or Messed up Quarantine Family Fun Tips

Exploding Kittens

YOU PUT THE CARDS ON THE TABLE AND TAKE TURNS DRAWING FROM THEM.

Playing Exploding Kittens

IF YOU DRAW AN EXPLODING KITTEN CARD, YOU EXPLODE. WHEN YOU...

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That time I was abducted in India

Day 5 - Abducted in India

Today’s show features a game you can play as a family, it’s my own family’s favorite game! I’ll just give you the subtitle which says it all…”Build a Unicorn Army. Betray your friends. Unicorns are your friends now.”  And then, you’ll get the story of when I was abducted in India.  Yes, I’ve been abducted before and you won’t believe what it lead to!

BUILD A BETTER LIFE WITH… 

Unstable Unicorns is a strategic card game about everyone’s two favorite...

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A man's greatest fear - surprise colon checks!

Day 4 - Surprise colon exams

On today’s Comedy Hour (not quite an hour) America is great again, Real or Messed up Quarantine Family Fun Tips and a man’s worst fear…surprise colon checks!

New York retired doctors and nurses!

BUILD A BETTER LIFE!

Real or Messed up Quarantine Family Fun Tips

  • The Great Race, Coronavirus Edition:  Get your family out and about your town or city and see who…ok, I can’t take this one any further, and honestly, I just wanted to make sure everyone knew about the latest Darwin Award winner!
    • Here’s the headline...
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The great poop attack of 2003

Day 3 of the Michael Smalley Comedy Hour (not really an hour)

It was possibly 2003, honestly I can’t remember the year, but that’s not important.  Today I share one of the most embarrassing moments of my life, and again it was at the diabolical hands of my older brother.  

You won’t believe this story, but every detail is true! 

But today isn’t just about my personal shame.  The corona virus has caused a lot of anxiety and fear for many of you.  So I’m going to give some simple tips on dealing with the angst this pandemic is causing.

BUT FIRST, A MOMENT TO BEG FOR YOUR MONEY! 

Virtual Intensives are here! https://www.smalleyinstitute.com/smalley-virtual-intensives and, since live events will be coming back, bring a poor comedian to your church, organization or even family home.  Check out how easy it is to host The Comedy of Love: https://www.smalleyinstitute.com/comedy-of-love 

MY MOST EMBARRASSING STORY EVER IS...

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The monster under your bed is real!

Day 2 of the Michael Smalley Comedy Hour

Welcommen to The Michael Smalley Comedy Hour.  Because I’m impulsive and slightly unorganized, I only came up with this show idea on Sunday….which means I didn’t put a lot of thought into it.  But for day two, I’ve got something special planned.  Each day I’m going to give fun tips for your family during home quarantine. One tip will be legit and the other will be messed up, you’ll have to figure out which is which.  

Of course I will share a weird, funny or messed up story from my life that will be true, or will it?  At the end of my story you can comment on whether or not you think it’s true or fake news…I mean a fake story.

BUT FIRST, A MOMENT TO BEG FOR YOUR MONEY!

Virtual Intensives are here! https://www.smalleyinstitute.com/smalley-virtual-intensives and, since live events will be coming back, bring a poor comedian to your church, organization or even...

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The Michael Smalley Comedy Hour Day 1

 

Just a little something for my fellow home quarantined friends! Our country and our world need something positive and definitely laughter. My goal is to give you both!

A MOMENT TO BEG FOR YOUR MONEY!

Virtual Intensives are here! https://www.smalleyinstitute.com/smalley-virtual-intensives and, since live events will be coming back, bring a poor comedian to your church, organization or even family home. Check out how easy it is to host The Comedy of Love: https://www.smalleyinstitute.com/comedy-of-love 

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Karl Vaters - that small church guy

Karl and I met in Guatemala with Compassion International. That's enough said! You don't want to miss this interview.  He knows things about me because I overshared on the trip!

Karl’s heart is to help pastors of small churches (up to 90 percent of us) find the resources to lead well, and to capitalize on the unique advantages that come with pastoring a small church – something virtually every pastor will spend at least some of their ministry years doing. He also believes that big and small churches can and should work together more often – to the benefit and blessing of everyone.

Karl has been in pastoral ministry for over 30 years. He is the teaching pastor of Cornerstone Christian Fellowship, a healthy small church in Orange County, California, where he has ministered for over 25 years with his wife, Shelley.

SPECIAL OFFER: Become a part of Pursue Oneness, our newest online experience and community! https://www.smalleyinstitute.com/offers/6WdgCzgc

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