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The four most important things to know about your marriage

Did you ever have that friend in college that you just couldn’t get rid of?  Me too, in fact, I’ve been trying to get rid of the guy on my show today for more than 20 years!  But now he’s made it onto my podcast, and he’s actually got something very cool he wants to share with you today.  

We are talking cars, marriage, and possibly the four most important things you need to maintain in order for your marriage to thrive!

SHOW NOTES

  1. Drive Your Marriage Car Forward
  2. The four tires on your marriage car:
    1. Emotional
    2. Mental
    3. Physical
    4. Spiritual
  3. Emotional
  4. Mental
    1. Worldview
    2. A.B.C. Principle
    3. Positives and Negatives
  5. Physical
    1. “Life is more a both and not an either or.”
  6. Spiritual
    1. Do not worry. Fear is real but for the believer we are demanded not to worry.
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The LOVE Talk wrap-up show

Over the last 6 shows you’ve learned the core skill taught in every one of our Smalley Marriage Intensives, Love Talk, by far the most powerful way to communicate with someone where feelings and needs can get expressed in a way that leads you naturally into win/win solutions.

Today we’re going to give you the top 4 lessons learned in these Love Talk episodes. If you can remember these 4 things, you will be able to resolve conflict with anyone at any time.

  • You need structure when it comes to resolving conflict
  • Listen, Own, Validate, and Express
  • Take a time-out before it gets too heated
  • Be a great listener, which means validating well
  • Only settle for win/win solutions
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Win – Win solutions are the heart of any dynamic relationship

You are catching us at the tail end of our series on LOVE Talk, the most powerful communication method on earth! Last show you learned how to share your feeling and needs as the customer in a way that helps others receive them and honor them.

  1. Brainstorm all possible ideas
  2. Never settle on a win/loss
  3. If you get stuck, seek help (Smalley Marriage Intensive or a friend)
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Share in a way that others can’t help but validate you

The last time we were with you, you discovered the role of employee and how that may be the most important role we learn when it comes to conflict resolution. On today’s show, you are going to learn how to be a great customer. You’ll want to listen today, because we are going to show you a way you can share the most important things in your life to your significant other and actually have them respond in a loving manner!

  • LOVE is the essence of LOVE Talk! (Listen, Own, Validate, and Express)
  • Share only feelings and needs
  • Never use the word YOU…
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Learn how to listen like a champion

Previously on Smalley Marriage Radio you discovered the most powerful way to stop STUPID conflict by using a time-out. Today, you get to learn the role of employee, that if I’m honest, is possibly the most important role you can learn when it comes to resolving conflict.

  • LOVE is the essence of LOVE Talk! (Listen, Own, Validate, and Express)
  • The employee only worries about Listening and Validating.
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The power of a timeout to stop stupid arguments

How timeouts help you stop stupid conflict:

  1. Stop escalating,
  2. Get away from each other, this allows you to calm down
  3. Pray, this allows you to gain perspective
  4. Own your part, this allows your partner to hear you and not be so defensive
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The most easy way to understand the heart of communication

Last show we talked about the importance of having structure in how you resolve conflict. So you can’t just go all willy-nilly during conflict and think you’re going to get anything solved.

SHOW NOTES

Today is about the most powerful word picture in the history of the world when it comes to resolving conflict!  If you’re going to resolve conflict, then you are trying to replicate the experience you get when going through the drive-through at a Chick-fil-a.

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Is oral sex allowed for a Christian couple

I just received this question and it jumped right off the page at me!

We have just ordered over $400 worth of books, workbooks, cd’s and dvd’s from you and your family……..we are desperate……I just have to ask one question………I have to have an answer to this question before I can get past some issues……….it is this………..

“Is oral sex something that is OK with the Lord, and, is it ok to dress up in a little nurse costume, or such.

I know this sounds so crazy, but I am about to go out of my mind needing to know the answers to this question! We have two boys coming up and I want them to have the best life possible in the Lord………these questions are just not talked about enough!

Thank you for your time and answer. May God richly bless you and all of your family!

MICHAEL: I hate couples who miss out on the joy of sex with each other because they think there are...

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LOVE Talk, the most powerful communication method on earth!

Do you ever get into conflict? I’m in conflict every other day with my wife! And we help couples for a living! Today you are going to discover, possibly, the most important thing about resolving conflict…and you don’t know about it! But no longer, we are going to reveal this truth as we unpack resolving conflict as a couple.

SHOW NOTES

  • If you are going to resolve conflict, you have to have structure!
  • LOVE Talk stands for Listen-Own-Validate-Express

 

Also, don’t forget to subscribe to the show because then you can get practical advice to your favorite device automatically - click here.

This show was brought to you by the Smalley Institute. If your relationship is on life support, Smalley Marriage Intensive your marriage in two days. Call us at 800-975-8748 or click here for more information on our private, 1-on-1 program for couples.

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Menopause - an interview with an expert

What a show today! I get to interview Rhonda Jolliffe, the founder of rhondanp.com.  What's so great about the show today? We have one of the most honest and frank conversations about menopause ever!  Rhonda has great insight for women who might be experiencing menopause but we also address how menopause impacts a relationship and what to do about it.

  • About 20 years helping women through menopause
  • The creator of rhondanp.com
  • Get a free course, just visit rhondanp.com/smalley
  • Understand the positives of menopause.
  • Does menopause help creativity for women?
  • What are some of the best things women can do for menopause?
  • Tips for husbands with wives going through menopause.
  • Andropause, it’s menopause for men!
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