All Episodes
Episodes
Wash some feet
We have leadership backwards. We picture the guy at the head of the table. The boss. The one barking orders and making the calls. The man everyone serves.
Then there is Jesus, on the night before he died, getting down...
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Who Will You Bleed For?
When men hear the word protection, they picture the wrong thing. They picture the guy who will throw a punch for his family. The action-movie version. The "nobody messes with mine" version. And sure, that has its...
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It's Not Your Fault. But It Is Your Problem.
I teach something called radical responsibility. It is the thing that separates men who change from men who stay stuck. And it starts with understanding the difference between blame and ownership.
Blame says "this is...
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You Are Enough. Stop Trying to Earn It.
I built my entire identity on output. How many couples I helped. How many books I wrote. How many stages I stood on. And when all of that got taken away, I had nothing left. Because I had built my sense of self on...
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Stop Lying to Everyone, Including Yourself
For years I stood on stages and taught people how to fix their marriages while mine was falling apart behind the curtain. "I'm fine." "Everything's great." "Our marriage is wonderful." Those were not white lies. Those...
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Passivity will kill you slowly
A few years ago, three teenagers in masks tried to grab me on a street in Lebanon. I put the big one down. When men interrogated me about why I was there, I told them the truth. When I walked into a Hezbollah camp by...
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The Wounded Healer
On a cold April morning in Castle Rock, Colorado, I told God I thought I might be ready to help people again. I was living in a converted school bus on twenty acres. I had lost my marriage, my ministry platform, my...
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Why You Cannot Think Your Way Out
I have a PhD in psychology and thirty years of clinical experience. I have read more books on relationships than most bookstores stock. I could explain attachment theory, nervous system regulation, and conflict...
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Survival is not a character flaw
I was driving home from a failed mediation in September 2019 when I told God I was going to stay drunk until all of this went away. I meant every word. Months later, when I finally started sobering up and went right...
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The lies trauma installs
There is a voice in your head that has been lying to you your whole life. You probably do not even know it is there. You think it is just you. You think it is just the truth. But it is not. It is a recording that got...
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The Bill Always Comes Due
The morning before my son's wedding, I woke up with a fist around my heart and concrete in my gut. Nothing bad had happened yet. Nobody had said anything. Nobody had done anything. But my body already knew who was...
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Your Body Knows What You Won't Admit
I once drove forty miles on a Texas highway with absolutely no memory of doing it. Both hands on the wheel. Car between the lines. Somehow alive. And I had no idea it had happened until I came back to consciousness in...
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