All Episodes
Episodes
Stop Lying to Everyone, Including Yourself
For years I stood on stages and taught people how to fix their marriages while mine was falling apart behind the curtain. "I'm fine." "Everything's great." "Our marriage is wonderful." Those were not white lies. Those...
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Passivity will kill you slowly
A few years ago, three teenagers in masks tried to grab me on a street in Lebanon. I put the big one down. When men interrogated me about why I was there, I told them the truth. When I walked into a Hezbollah camp by...
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The Wounded Healer
On a cold April morning in Castle Rock, Colorado, I told God I thought I might be ready to help people again. I was living in a converted school bus on twenty acres. I had lost my marriage, my ministry platform, my...
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Why You Cannot Think Your Way Out
I have a PhD in psychology and thirty years of clinical experience. I have read more books on relationships than most bookstores stock. I could explain attachment theory, nervous system regulation, and conflict...
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Survival is not a character flaw
I was driving home from a failed mediation in September 2019 when I told God I was going to stay drunk until all of this went away. I meant every word. Months later, when I finally started sobering up and went right...
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The lies trauma installs
There is a voice in your head that has been lying to you your whole life. You probably do not even know it is there. You think it is just you. You think it is just the truth. But it is not. It is a recording that got...
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The Bill Always Comes Due
The morning before my son's wedding, I woke up with a fist around my heart and concrete in my gut. Nothing bad had happened yet. Nobody had said anything. Nobody had done anything. But my body already knew who was...
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Your Body Knows What You Won't Admit
I once drove forty miles on a Texas highway with absolutely no memory of doing it. Both hands on the wheel. Car between the lines. Somehow alive. And I had no idea it had happened until I came back to consciousness in...
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The Wrong Question
I was a psychologist with a PhD, thirty years of experience, and a marriage that was falling apart while I taught other people how to fix theirs. Fun times. In this episode I tell you about the afternoon I sat in a...
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Five Years, A Terrorist Camp, and a Brand New Show
Dr. Michael Smalley is back. After five years of silence, a marriage ending, a school bus in Colorado, an accidental walk into a Hezbollah camp in Lebanon, and four months in Ethiopia that he did not see coming, he...
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An interview with the man I called the day I wanted to kill myself
An uncensored conversation with one of my best friends about the morning I decided to end my life in November 2019. Instead of suicide, I chose to call Casey McKown and Seth Johnson. Today, you get to hear Casey's...
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War can’t stop discipleship in Southern Lebanon
Welcome to the It Just Is podcast, I’m your host, Michael Smalley. Today I have another special update from my missionary friend currently living and discipling in Southern Lebanon. Please remember, as you hear his...
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