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Born from betrayal: Primal Panic

  • Like a knife stabbing you in the chest with each breath you take
  • Like a rain cloud of negative speak following your every move
  • Like an impostor hijacked your normal self
  • Like an explosion in your brain, sending your thoughts spiraling out of control

You are not just worried or anxious, you are experiencing Primal Panic.

Defining Primal Panic or Attachment Distress

Isolation and the potential loss of loving connection is coded by the human brain into a primal panic response. [Johnson, Dr. Sue. Hold Me Tight (p. 46). Little, Brown and Company. Kindle Edition.]

Primal Panic appears when you feel betrayed by an affair, abuse, divorce, parents, PTSD, etc. Struggles often begin as a child because your parent or caregiver could not provide a safe, secure foundation.

Get the rest of these notes, an epic, in-depth online experience, 24/7 digital access to coaching from Dr. Michael Smalley, the downloads and couples exercises, a path towards healing your pain, tools to shape your...

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The mathematical formula for your best life now!

Dear brothers and sisters, when I was with you I couldn’t talk to you as I would to spiritual people. I had to talk as though you belonged to this world or as though you were infants in Christ. 2 I had to feed you with milk, not with solid food, because you weren’t ready for anything stronger. And you still aren’t ready, 3 for you are still controlled by your sinful nature. You are jealous of one another and quarrel with each other. Doesn’t that prove you are controlled by your sinful nature? Aren’t you living like people of the world? I Corinthians 3:1-3

  • We are going through Bondage Breakers by Neil T. Anderson
  • Think unresolved conflict is no big deal?
    • Can't receive healthy, biblical, wise counsel because of unresolved conflict
      • Jealousy, unforgiveness, bitterness, mean-spiritedness, etc.
  • It is not our circumstances dragging us down! It is our reactions to each other causing chaos.

The mathematical formula for your best life is = T - H +...

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What if he DOES come back

Amen, hallelujah! But you better have a plan on what you do daily, weekly, and yearly.

If an epic, in-depth online experience is something you’d be interested in covering the discussion today or access to any of the downloads mentioned, and even better, 24/7 digital access to coaching from Dr. Michael Smalley, a path towards healing your pain, tools to shape your communication and intimacy, assessments to guide you, and a community of support from people who will cheer you on as you journey to the relationship you want. Join the VIP Inner Circle! Learn more.

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What if he does not come back

It is the answer to the question you fear the most. What now?

If an epic, in-depth online experience is something you’d be interested in covering the discussion today or access to any of the downloads mentioned, and even better, 24/7 digital access to coaching from Dr. Michael Smalley, a path towards healing your pain, tools to shape your communication and intimacy, assessments to guide you, and a community of support from people who will cheer you on as you journey to the relationship you want. Join the VIP Inner Circle! Learn more.

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Be brave and disengage

The #1 reason your relationship will fail is if you continue allowing yourself to stay engaged with your husband when you become flooded. Here's what you need to do...

If an epic, in-depth online experience is something you’d be interested in covering the discussion today or access to any of the downloads mentioned, and even better, 24/7 digital access to coaching from Dr. Michael Smalley, a path towards healing your pain, tools to shape your communication and intimacy, assessments to guide you, and a community of support from people who will cheer you on as you journey to the relationship you want. Join the VIP Inner Circle! Learn more.

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Your best option is to quit

You heard me! Quit already, you keep trying to eliminate divorce and you are only making it worse...

If an epic, in-depth online experience is something you’d be interested in covering the discussion today or access to any of the downloads mentioned, and even better, 24/7 digital access to coaching from Dr. Michael Smalley, a path towards healing your pain, tools to shape your communication and intimacy, assessments to guide you, and a community of support from people who will cheer you on as you journey to the relationship you want. Join the VIP Inner Circle! Learn more.

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Fast and pray for the love of life!

Want to know what happens when you ignore God before making important life decisions? You know, decisions like where to move, taking a new job, which school to attend, to marry someone, divorce someone, things of this nature. If you willingly choose honesty, I do not need to answer the question. You know what happens...

If an epic, in-depth online experience is something you’d be interested in covering the discussion today or access to any of the downloads mentioned, and even better, 24/7 digital access to coaching from Dr. Michael Smalley, a path towards healing your pain, tools to shape your communication and intimacy, assessments to guide you, and a community of support from people who will cheer you on as you journey to the relationship you want. Join the VIP Inner Circle! Learn more.

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Bewildered

You might feel bewildered about why your husband is shut down, God does not.

If an epic, in-depth online experience is something you’d be interested in covering the discussion today or access to any of the downloads mentioned, and even better, 24/7 digital access to coaching from Dr. Michael Smalley, a path towards healing your pain, tools to shape your communication and intimacy, assessments to guide you, and a community of support from people who will cheer you on as you journey to the relationship you want. Join the VIP Inner Circle! Learn more.

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You are a child of the King! Now go live like one.

If you are not worthy, no one is worthy. Be an Esther and win back your husband is now about identity. When asked about my own identity, I had the right answers but my actions told a different story. "I am a child of the King!" but...my actions showed I did not believe it; drinking, avoiding pain, passive-aggressiveness, passivity, gossiping, all of it told a different story! How could someone who genuinely loves himself allow any of this?

You are more than just a wife.

If an epic, in-depth online experience is something you’d be interested in covering the discussion today or access to any of the downloads mentioned, and even better, 24/7 digital access to coaching from Dr. Michael Smalley, a path towards healing your pain, tools to shape your communication and intimacy, assessments to guide you, and a community of support from people who will cheer you on as you journey to the relationship you want. Join the VIP Inner Circle! Learn more.

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The Invisible God - Be an Esther

One of the glaring omissions in the book of Esther is God. Yes, you are reading this correctly! We do not know who wrote the book of Esther. If you read it, you are not going to read about God. Fact-check me on this one. Do not be fooled, however. We might not find the word “God” anywhere in the book. But have no doubt, God’s awesome power is the main theme running through Esther’s pages. God’s fingerprints are everywhere!

An orphan girl becomes queen, a Jewish girl of all things! Impossible! If a person lacks belief in God, the word, “coincidence” is often used. If you follow him, you know God is working behind the scenes and sees the big picture. I believe by omitting God the author is intentionally highlighting God’s work behind the scenes. When a crisis hits, and the darkness settles in, God becomes less obvious to even the most staunch believer. Esther shows us, even in the darkness, God is at work and he keeps his promises.

The...

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