The Reluctant Missionary

Authentic stories from the travels of Michael Smalley.

What if she does come back - Hero's Guide to Winning Back Your Wife

hero's guide to winning back your wife smalley marriage radio Nov 14, 2017

It’s the ninth show in our series called, The Hero’s Guide to Winning Back Your Wife! It is the final show (until Seth reminds me that we need to do a wrap-up show) of the series. Last show we had to walk you through the possibility that your wife won’t come back. This week we get to give you the most important things you need to do if she does come back. This is going to be way more positive…which always makes me happy. And, you’re going to learn exactly what you have to do each day, each week, and each year moving forward so your relationship continues to get better.


If you want to listen to all the episodes in this series, just click here.

  • What if she does come back
  • You’ve taken all the things we’ve encouraged you to do, and it’s worked!
  • But now, you really do need to be like a hero
    • Celebrate, but don’t settle
    • You must become a lifelong learner
    • You need to keep discovering and becoming a PhD of your wife
  • What do you do daily
    • Every day you need to wake up, and first thing in the morning pray:

Dear Father, I come to you today, just as I am. I give you all my strengths and weaknesses, vices and virtues, hopes and fears, successes and failures, faith and doubt.

I cast all my fear and anxiety and insecurity upon you, trusting that you will do your part, trusting that you will show me what my part is (if any), and trusting that all things will work together for good – because I love you, and because I am called according to your purpose.

I receive your mercy, grace, and love into my life. Please help me to extend it to myself and others as well.

Please give me the wisdom to know your will for me, the willingness to accept it, and the courage and strength to do it. I need your help in each of these ways, for I can not do any of them on my own.

Give me what I need for today – physically, spiritually, and emotionally. No more. No less.

May I live today with a heightened sense of your presence. May I catch glimpses of the eternal in all things. May I be aware of, and listen to, the promptings of your Holy Spirit.

I place my life completely and unreservedly in your hands, and trust that you will not let anything happen to me outside of your will for me.

I ask these things in the name and the power and the authority of Jesus Christ, my savior and friend.


  • What do you do weekly
    • Look for opportunities to meet her needs
    • Don’t allow the evil one to distract you with the past
    • Keep a positive attitude toward her (remember this is a choice)
    • Instead of being irritated, be affirming
  • What do you do yearly
    • Each year you need to take two weekends to
    • Attend some kind of marriage education retreat or seminar
    • A weekend alone, where you check in with each other and dream of your future together and the goals you want to accomplish as a couple
  • A hero’s actions
    • Keep praying
    • Keep learning
    • Do the annual weekends together

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