The Reluctant Missionary

Authentic stories from the travels of Michael Smalley.

The joy in caring for yourself - Relentless Joy #3

marriage parenting personal growth relentless joy Nov 28, 2018

Title: The joy in caring for yourself - Relentless Joy #3

Teaser for Show:

Jean Shinoda Bolen once said, “When you recover or discover something that nourishes your soul and brings joy, care enough about yourself to make room for it in your life.” Today we continue our series on Relentless Joy and talk about the joy in caring for yourself.

Distraction of the Day:

What’s the weirdest crime ring ever busted?

Honoring News of the Day:

From the Good News Network
Generosity pays: selfless people tend to make more money

What happens to those who behave unselfishly and make sacrifices for the sake of others? You might be surprised to hear that greed may not be the path to prosperity.

According to an interdisciplinary study by researchers from Stockholm University, the Institute for Futures Studies, and the University of South Carolina, unselfish people tend both to receive higher salaries, in comparison to more selfish people.

“The result is clear in both the American and the European data. The most unselfish people receive the highest salaries. And we also find this result over time – the people who are most generous at one point in time have the largest salary increases when researchers revisit them later in time,” says Kimmo Eriksson, researcher at the Centre for Cultural Evolution at Stockholm University and one of the authors of the study.

Resource: Pursue Oneness - 7 key strategies to the relationship of your dreams

Leave a review and subscribe to the podcast.

Call us at (903) 392-0975 and leave a voicemail question or review.

'“Teacher, which is the most important commandment in the law of Moses?” Jesus replied, “‘You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. A second is equally important: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ The entire law and all the demands of the prophets are based on these two commandments.”' Matthew 22:36-40

In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as they love their own bodies. For a man who loves his wife actually shows love for himself. No one hates his own body but feeds and cares for it, just as Christ cares for the church.” Ephesians 5:28-29

Hedonism: the ethical theory that pleasure (in the sense of the satisfaction of desires) is the highest good and proper aim of human life.

John Piper, “And the shortest description of Christian Hedonism is God is most glorified in us when we are most satisfied in him.”

So, as an illustration: It’s my anniversary. I say to Noel, “I am going to take you out tonight, because it is our 47th anniversary, and spending the night with you would make me really happy.”

No wife has ever said, nor would Noel ever say, “You are so selfish. All you think about is yourself. It makes you happy taking me out and spending the evening with me.” No wife ever complains that is selfish. Why? Because if I pursue my full satisfaction in my wife, she is honored. So it is with God. If we are drawn to God because we want to spend time with God, if God is our treasure and our satisfaction, God is honored.

This truth — God is most glorified in us, or Christ is most magnified in us, when we are most satisfied him — is not peripheral. This is not peripheral to the Christian life or peripheral to the book of Philippians. This is right at the heart of what it means to be a believer, what it means to belong to Jesus Christ, what it means to treasure and trust Jesus Christ. This is not icing on the cake of Christianity. This is at the heart of Christianity.

We’ve called this self-care for years, but I prefer now Christian hedonism. How does this bring you joy? Making sure you are good allows you to fully experience joy. Again, it is another choice we make to help increase the joy in our life.

Some good ideas for self-care:

  • In honor of Amy, clean the kitchen or just plain clean.
  • Feed your relationship with God
    Jeremiah 15:16 (ESV) 16 Your words were found, and I ate them, and your words became to me a joy and the delight of my heart, for I am called by your name, O Lord, God of hosts.
  • Watch sports
  • Toni Bernhard suggests, “"My favorite self-care strategy is based on Active Listening, where you feed back to others their emotional pain by restating it in your own words, so that they feel heard and understood. My twist is that I Active Listen to myself: I craft a phrase that addresses specifically the difficulty of the moment, and then I speak it silently or softly to myself. Two examples: "It's hard to feel lonely on the weekend"; "It's tough to work such long hours and feel unappreciated." Crafting phrases that speak directly to what I'm feeling connects me with my own heart. The result is that I feel deeply cared for."
  • Laugh “The most wasted of all days is one without laughter.” ― Nicolas Chamfort
  • Sleep and rest
  • Be active
  • Nature



Live Virtual Coaching!

Get access to 9 live virtual coaching sessions every month with Dr. Michael Smalley through the VIP Inner Circle membership. You'll have 24/7 digital access to his coaching, a growing video library, tools to improve your communication and intimacy, assessments to guide you on your path to healing, and a supportive community of people who will encourage you as you work toward the relationship you desire.

Learn More