The Reluctant Missionary

Authentic stories from the travels of Michael Smalley.

Take your marriage to the next level

marriage marriage mentoring the joy of difficult conversations Aug 21, 2020

What are the two most important things in life? No, it is not food and shelter.  It is not success at work or money.  Obviously. The two most important things in life are to honor God and honor others. Are you are ready to take your marriage to the next level? Once you figure out how to love each other well, you might be fooled into believing you reached the pinnacle and there's nothing left to achieve.  You would be wrong.  A great marriage is wonderful.  Helping other couples experience the kind of love and support you feel is something much bigger than your own marriage.

Helping others is the next step in your journey, and it may well end up being the greatest part of your life together! The next level is discovering how to mentor couples.

[ If you want weekly support and encouragement for your deepest relationship struggles...join the VIP Inner Circle today! Change is a process and takes time, a VIP Inner Circle membership is the process and allows you the time to build the life and relationship you want. START NOW ]

The Marriage Mentor Next Level Training will be your guide to learning what it takes to help other couples succeed in their relationship.  Each lesson is only around 10 minutes long because mentoring other couples is not rocket science! You are not being asked to spend hundreds of hours learning to be a pseudo marriage counselor.  You are only being asked one question, "Would you be willing to come alongside another couple to encourage and support them?" That's it. 

When you step up to help another couple in need, your marriage will benefit more than anything we can teach you. And that's a fact, Jack. When you are ready to take your own relationship to the next level, start the Marriage Mentor training program.  It is not overwhelming and you can download the 7-12 minute lessons and listen to them wherever you go.

What does it mean to be a marriage mentor and to disciple couples?

As a Marriage Mentor, you want your relationship healthy.  Finishing the 7-week Marriage Booster course and applying the knowledge and skills on how to love each other better is necessary if you want to take your marriage to the next level. One of the lessons I learned in graduate school at Wheaton College was you can only take someone as far as you've gone yourself.  If your relationship is not healthy, you can not expect to help other couples experience the marriage they want.  Finishing the Marriage Booster course is only the beginning. The next level is doing something more with your life and your marriage.

Jesus did not call us to make healthy marriages.  He called us to, 

19 Therefore, go and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit. 20 Teach these new disciples to obey all the commands I have given you. And be sure of this: I am with you always, even to the end of the age.”

Marriage Mentoring can not be focused on building healthy marriages.  The focus must be to make disciples of Jesus Christ.  If you are a true disciple it is your biggest goal in life.  I used to make too many excuses like, "That's not how God uses me.  I'm more of a show them kind of guy." Or, "I don't want to be presumptuous." Or, "I don't have time."

You had one job!

The memes on the internet are classic on the topic of, "You had one job."

It is foolish to make excuses in discipling others! The majority of my Christian walk avoided making discipleship a priority.  Yes, I preached and shared about Jesus to large audiences around the world. I did not take the time to walk alongside someone and disciple them. Pastor John Piper says to disciple someone is,

a very long process. That is like a lifetime of process. So get them converted. Baptize them. And then spend a lifetime teaching them to obey all that Jesus said. That is what the verb “disciple” in the New Testament would include.

How does discipling others happen?

It starts with sharing the good news of Jesus Christ, his life, death, and resurrection.  Sharing your own story of how you began following Christ and becoming a true authentic disciple, obeying his commands. 

We mentor others by imitating Jesus in our own lives and spending the time and energy to guide others in doing the same. If you are going to disciple someone, it starts by living a life worthy of being imitated by others. Jeff Saferite encourages us,

“I want you to have access to my life. Imitate what you see in me that looks like Jesus. Bring to my attention the stuff that doesn’t.”

Perhaps the greatest thing you will do for your marriages is disciple other couples. You will not be able to avoid growing closer to Jesus and in your marriage.  Being a life-long learner is no longer a choice, it is a lifestyle unmistakably pursuing knowledge and skills to be more like Jesus. Actively discipling others becomes natural.

There is an abundance of opportunities and strategies in how we disciple others:

  • Titus 2:4 — Older women training younger women.
  • Second Timothy 2:2 — Paul trained Timothy to train others, to train others.
  • Ephesians 6:4 — Fathers training their children.
  • Matthew 28:20 — Missionaries teaching the nations everything Jesus commanded.
  • Hebrews 3:13 — All Christians are to urge each other every day to avoid sin and to stir each other up to love and good reactions to people behaving badly toward them (see also Hebrews 10:24–25).
  • First Peter 4:10 — All disciples are called to use their gifts to serve others.
  • Acts 18:24–26 — Priscilla and Aquila, on the spur of the moment it seems, explained the way of God more accurately to Apollos.

Becoming an authentic disciple of Jesus means you guide unbelievers by showing them, Christ.  Making a disciple.  Discipleship (or marriage mentoring)  is guiding other believers to grow more and more mature. Being a Marriage Mentor (guiding believers) is not an option, it is a command.

Start discovering how to become a Marriage Mentor.  It is not rocket science, and you are not responsible for the change in others, the Holy Spirit is! You are responsible for making connections with other couples and leading them to be more like Jesus through your own imitation of Jesus. Click here to get started.


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