Today is about understanding, perhaps, the single greatest thing you can do to decrease anger and increase intimacy! Pursue validation.
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What does it mean to validate? 'If I gave everything I have to the poor and even sacrificed my body, I could boast about it; but if I didn’t love others, I would have gained nothing.’ 1 Corinthians 13:3
Validating is really living out Matthew 7:12! You know how you want to be treated, so go ahead and grab the initiative and do it for your partner! First accepting someone’s feelings and then acknowledging the other person’s unique identity and individuality. Validation says, “You are more important to me than proving myself right or proving you wrong.”
Dr. Karyn Hall defines validation this way, “Validation is the recognition and acceptance of another person's thoughts, feelings, sensations, and behaviors as understandable.”
The keyword in her definition is “understandable”. There is a certain amount of empathy involved when you are validating someone. You aren’t just being a robot repeating back what the person is saying or feeling. You are trying to empathize/understand their feelings when validating.
'If I gave everything I have to the poor and even sacrificed my body, I could boast about it; but if I didn’t love others, I would have gained nothing.’ 1 Corinthians 13:3
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