The Reluctant Missionary

Authentic stories from the travels of Michael Smalley.

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conflict management marriage pursue oneness Feb 05, 2019

Today is about understanding, perhaps, the single greatest thing you can do to decrease anger and increase intimacy! Pursue validation.

Pursue Oneness takes the guesswork out of "what can help" by providing an easy way to discover the most important knowledge and skills for you need to succeed in your relationship. Check it out today!

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(Here's a link to that precious girls GoFundMe page, who helps the elderly and gives them three wishes.)

What does it mean to validate? 'If I gave everything I have to the poor and even sacrificed my body, I could boast about it; but if I didn’t love others, I would have gained nothing.’  1 Corinthians 13:3

Validating is really living out Matthew 7:12! You know how you want to be treated, so go ahead and grab the initiative and do it for your partner!  First accepting someone’s feelings and then acknowledging the other person’s unique identity and individuality. Validation says, “You are more important to me than proving myself right or proving you wrong.”

Dr. Karyn Hall defines validation this way, “Validation is the recognition and acceptance of another person's thoughts, feelings, sensations, and behaviors as understandable.”

The keyword in her definition is “understandable”. There is a certain amount of empathy involved when you are validating someone. You aren’t just being a robot repeating back what the person is saying or feeling. You are trying to empathize/understand their feelings when validating.

'If I gave everything I have to the poor and even sacrificed my body, I could boast about it; but if I didn’t love others, I would have gained nothing.’ 1 Corinthians 13:3

 

Now how do you validate? This is why you want to purchase the Pursue Oneness online experience! Here's what you get extra with the course only: 

 

  • That’s what you get in the Pursue Oneness online experience!
  • Discover the 6 levels of validation
  • Specific examples and scenarios on how to validate...If your wife comes to you and says, “You offended me last night…” We help you see exactly how to respond in a validating way.
  • The roadblocks to validation
  • The benefits of validation
  • As always, you get the “Taking It Deeper” online experience and the Now Go & Do It practical application experience.

 

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