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Mindset: the ultimate upper body workout for love

Mahatma Gandhi once said, “I will not let anyone walk through my mind with their dirty feet.”  Your mindset needs a workout big time. Because you allow a lot of “dirty feet” walk around up there and it’s gotten messy! Today you’re getting the three keys to the greatest upper body workout for your relationship mindset ever!

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The upper body workout! Three exercises you want to change your mindset:

  1. Take ownership
    1. It’s about me. What can I change?
    2. You can’t control the other person anyway, save your energy for your own needed changes.
  2. Give the benefit of the doubt
    1. A self-fulfilling prophecy based on your choices, not your feelings
    2. It ends up helping you with your own condemnation about yourself. Easier and friendlier about others will bleed over to being easier and friendlier about your own stuff.
  3. Take more time to think and pray each day.
    1. Mindfulness — paying attention on purpose, in the present moment, and without judgment — can help us break out of the negative knee-jerk reactions we bring into our relationships. Specifically, she said, mindfulness helps to better manage the body’s reactions, regulate emotions and calm fears and anxieties – all key ingredients for healthy relationships. In her book, Lucas addresses seven such relationship-boosting benefits. Margarita Tartakovsky, M.S.
    2. We just aren't thoughtful enough in today's world. Too busy. Too rushed. Too stressed out. No wonder our relationships struggle! If you were willing to spend 20 minutes a day thinking and praying, it will change your attitude. Twenty minutes may sound like a long time, but you don't have to do it all at once. Set reminders for yourself throughout the day to pause for five minutes to think and pray on things like:
    3. A Love List: I (Michael) have actually made a list in the popular app and platform "Slack" about all the character qualities I love about Amy. Specific words or desires God has put on your heart about your partner or relationship or yourself. For example, things like peace, kindness, and patience.
    4. Daniel Siegel, MD, who says that rewiring the brain can be helped by even as little as three minutes of mindfulness meditation, done regularly and that the brain seems to benefit more from frequent, shorter meditations than less frequent, longer ones. I often recommend starting with five minutes a day, and perhaps working up to twenty if you feel it is working for you. Marsha Lucas Ph.D.

When you become more mindful, your relationship benefits.

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Are you struggling in your marriage with:

  • Difficulty communicating and asserting your needs?
  • Lack of intimacy and feeling disconnected?
  • Feeling stuck because you keep having the same fights over and over again?
  • Feeling easily triggered by built-up resentment?

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