Is oral sex allowed for a Christian couple

marriage sexual intimacy Feb 08, 2018

I just received this question and it jumped right off the page at me!

We have just ordered over $400 worth of books, workbooks, cd’s and dvd’s from you and your family……..we are desperate……I just have to ask one question………I have to have an answer to this question before I can get past some issues……….it is this………..

“Is oral sex something that is OK with the Lord, and, is it ok to dress up in a little nurse costume, or such.

I know this sounds so crazy, but I am about to go out of my mind needing to know the answers to this question! We have two boys coming up and I want them to have the best life possible in the Lord………these questions are just not talked about enough!

Thank you for your time and answer. May God richly bless you and all of your family!

MICHAEL: I hate couples who miss out on the joy of sex with each other because they think there are some dos and don’ts—mainly developed through misconceptions.

AMY: That’s right. As married couples, we should be the most open with one another.

MICHAEL: But I just have to hear it from a female. Do you think oral sex is okay?

AMY: I truly do think it’s okay. Within the confines of the relationship, I do. We are one man and one woman, and we are exploring each other’s bodies. We are created for each other’s pleasure. And part of that is oral sex.

MICHAEL: Absolutely. So, there is nothing wrong with it.

But it is okay, again, as long as you are enjoying each other sexually, exploring, coming up with new ideas for each other, and you are both on board. Once sex becomes a deal about me and what I want, and I don’t care what your opinion is or whether you are comfortable or not, then we have a problem.

But here’s a deal that I see coming up in our counseling offices a lot, is that there will be misunderstandings about oral sex, and you are refusing to have oral sex only because of religious differences or past traumatic events that have happened in your life. If that is the case, then I want to challenge you to really address that and talk with a professional—a counselor or a sex therapist that can help you overcome your past.
It might be your parents, who just said, “Oral sex is wrong!” Well, that is not a fair thing to say “no” to your spouse over. You can explore each other.

AMY: That’s right. If that is the only reason, because your parents or because someone else said that oral sex is wrong, really explore it for yourself. For different personalities, you do want to honor the differences that you have. If one spouse is not open to it, then it is not okay to push that on her or on him. That’s not okay.

But in the confines of your relationship, if there is a safe environment, if you are able to talk about it and be vulnerable with each other, and really want to change and want to meet the other person’s need, then what you are going to find is more patience, more caring, more openness to trying different things.

MICHAEL: Which, by the way, equates to more passion and more fun in the bedroom—and that is what the bedroom should be.


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