A fellow learner wants to know, "What is the single best predictor of whether a couple who goes through your program will make it."

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The problem may be with you trying to get her to love you again.

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Is it always up to one spouse to instigate sex? Wouldn't it leave the instigator feeling under wanted if they are always having to start the festivities?

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We've turned the corner and you are ready to turn betrayal into deeper intimacy!

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We are turning the corner on Primal Panic and focusing in on genuine healing! Now drop whatever you are doing and flush it.

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This is who you want to be if you ever want to overcome the pain of feeling betrayed.

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"We need to talk." Possibly the four worst words this style of panic reaction could ever hear! The Runner is the second bad reaction style to panic and fear of conflict.

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Ever feel like your words and actions were not achieving the deepest desire of your heart? You keep reacting in ways that push people further and further away?

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• Like a knife stabbing you in the chest with each breath you take
• Like a rain cloud of negative speak following your every move
• Like an impostor hijacked your normal self
• Like an explosion in your brain, sending your thoughts spiraling out of control

You are not just worried or anxious, you are experiencing Primal Panic.

Defining Primal Panic or Attachment Distress

Isolation and the potential loss of loving connection is coded by the human brain into a primal panic response. [Johnson, Dr. Sue. Hold Me Tight (p. 46). Little, Brown and Company. Kindle Edition.]

Primal Panic appears when you feel betrayed by an affair, abuse, divorce, parents, PTSD, etc. Struggles often begin as a child because your parent or caregiver could not provide a safe, secure foundation.

Get the rest of these notes, an epic, in-depth online experience, 24/7 digital access to coaching from Dr. Michael Smalley, the downloads and couples exercises, a path towards healing your pain, tools to shape your...

Dear brothers and sisters, when I was with you I couldn’t talk to you as I would to spiritual people. I had to talk as though you belonged to this world or as though you were infants in Christ. 2 I had to feed you with milk, not with solid food, because you weren’t ready for anything stronger. And you still aren’t ready, 3 for you are still controlled by your sinful nature. You are jealous of one another and quarrel with each other. Doesn’t that prove you are controlled by your sinful nature? Aren’t you living like people of the world? I Corinthians 3:1-3

• We are going through Bondage Breakers by Neil T. Anderson
• Think unresolved conflict is no big deal?
  • Can't receive healthy, biblical, wise counsel because of unresolved conflict
    • Jealousy, unforgiveness, bitterness, mean-spiritedness, etc.
• It is not our circumstances dragging us down! It is our reactions to each other causing chaos.

The mathematical formula for your best life is = T - H +...