When You Trust God With Everything Except the One Thing That Actually Matters

There was a man who loved Jesus.

He tithed faithfully. Served in his church. Led a small group. His prayers for others were powerful and consistent. He trusted God with his health, his finances, his calling, his future.

Everyone who knew him would say he was a man of faith.

But there was one thing he wouldn't surrender to God. One area where his faith stopped cold and his control took over.

His marriage.

His wife had grown distant over the years. She was pulling away emotionally, and he could feel her slipping through his fingers. The harder he tried to fix it, the worse it got. The more he pursued, the more she retreated.

He prayed about it constantly. "God, please change her heart. Help her see how much I love her. Soften her toward me. Bring her back."

But while he was praying for God to change his wife, he was simultaneously doing everything in his human power to control the outcome. He was managing, manipulating, strategizing, pursuing, explaining, defending.

He trusted God to change her. But he didn't trust God enough to stop trying to fix it himself.

Do you see what he was actually saying?

"God, I trust You with everything... except this. This is too important. This is too painful. This I need to control."

He had faith in God's power. He just didn't have faith in God's plan.

The Thing We Won't Let Go

If you've walked with Jesus for any length of time, you've probably discovered this uncomfortable truth:

It's easy to trust God with the things that don't terrify you.

Trusting God for salvation? Sure. That's done. Trusting Him for provision? Most days, yes. Trusting Him for direction in your calling? Eventually, okay.

But trusting Him with the ONE thing that keeps you up at night?

The marriage that's dying. The child who's walked away from God. The health crisis that could change everything. The financial disaster you can't see a way out of. The calling He's given you that feels impossible.

That one thing?

That's where our faith hits a wall. That's where our trust becomes selective. That's where we say, "I believe in God's sovereignty... except here."

We trust God with everything except the one thing that actually matters most to us.

And so we pray about it while simultaneously trying to control it. We surrender it to God while keeping our hands firmly on the steering wheel.

We say "Thy will be done" while really meaning "Here's what I need You to do."

When the Crisis Forces the Issue

For the man with the dying marriage, the crisis point came when his wife said the words he'd been dreading:

"I think we need to separate."

Not divorce. Not yet. But separation. Space. Time apart to figure out if this marriage could be saved.

And in that moment, he had a choice.

He could continue doing what he'd been doing—pursuing harder, explaining more, promising change, trying to convince her to stay.

Or he could finally—truly—surrender this thing to God.

Not the fake surrender where you say the words but keep controlling behind the scenes.

Real surrender. The terrifying kind. The kind where you let go even though you have no idea what will happen next.

For weeks, he wrestled. He argued with God. He bargained.

"If I just try this one more thing..." "Maybe if I explain it differently..." "What if I give her more space but also..."

Each time, the same gentle whisper: Trust Me with this. Let it go. Abide in My word.

What Abiding Actually Means

He had been a Christian for decades. He knew the verse.

"If you abide in Me, and My words abide in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you." John 15:7

He'd read it hundreds of times. Taught it in small group. Even prayed it over his marriage.

But he'd never actually done it.

Because abiding doesn't mean reading Jesus' words and agreeing with them. It doesn't mean praying them back to God while doing whatever you want anyway.

Abiding means hearing Jesus' words and actually doing them. Moment by moment. Even when it terrifies you.

Jesus said, "Do not let your hearts be troubled. You believe in God; believe also in me." (John 14:1)

That's not a suggestion. It's a command.

Take control of your heart. Don't let it be troubled. Believe in Me.

But how do you DO that when your marriage is dying? When your whole world is falling apart?

The answer is in the next verse: "Trust in God; trust also in me."

The way you control your heart is by actively trusting—by hearing Jesus' words about who He is, what He promises, and what He commands... and then acting on those words.

Even when everything in you wants to keep controlling.

The Impossible Thing God Asked Him to Do

So the man finally surrendered. Really surrendered.

He stopped pursuing his wife. Stopped explaining. Stopped defending. Stopped trying to fix it.

He gave her the space she asked for.

And then he did the hardest thing he'd ever done in his life:

He focused on his own transformation instead of trying to change her.

He started meeting with a men's accountability group. Started addressing his own character defects—the defensiveness, the need to be right, the inability to be vulnerable. Started actually listening instead of formulating his next defense.

He abided in Jesus' words by doing what they said, not just reading them.

Jesus said, "Take my yoke upon you and learn from me." (Matthew 11:29)

So he harnessed himself to Christ. He learned humility. He stopped justifying himself.

Jesus said, "If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me." (Luke 9:23)

So he denied his need to control the outcome. He died to his own plan for his marriage.

And he trusted God with what happened next.

The Peace That Comes From Abiding

Here's what he discovered:

When you finally stop trying to control the one thing you can't control, you find a peace you didn't know was possible.

Not because the circumstances changed. His wife was still living separately. The marriage was still in crisis. The future was still uncertain.

But he had peace anyway.

Because he was finally trusting God instead of trying to be God.

He was abiding—hearing Jesus' words and doing them, moment by moment.

Jesus said, "Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid." (John 14:27)

That peace showed up. Not as a feeling. As a Person.

Jesus Himself became his peace in the midst of the storm.

What Happened to His Marriage

I wish I could tell you a fairy tale ending where his wife came running back within weeks, everything was restored, and they lived happily ever after.

That's not what happened.

The separation lasted months. The rebuilding process took years.

But here's what did happen:

When he stopped trying to control her and started trusting God with the outcome, he became a different man.

The defensiveness softened. The need to be right disappeared. The inability to be vulnerable was replaced with honest, humble authenticity.

He stopped being the man who drove her away. He became someone she was curious about.

And slowly—very slowly—she started to notice.

Not because he was trying to win her back. But because he'd genuinely changed.

The transformation that came from finally abiding in Christ was what created space for restoration.

But here's the key: He did the work of transformation whether she came back or not.

That's real trust. That's real abiding.

That's surrendering the ONE thing you can't control and trusting God with the outcome.

The One Thing You're Holding Back

So what about you?

What's the ONE thing you trust God with everything except?

The thing that keeps you up at 3am. The thing you pray about constantly but refuse to truly surrender. The thing you say you trust God with while your hands are still white-knuckled on the steering wheel.

Your marriage? Your kids? Your health? Your finances? Your calling?

Here's what I've learned after 30 years of walking with people through crisis:

The thing you won't surrender to God is the thing that has power over you.

As long as you're trying to control it, you're enslaved to it. As long as you're managing it, you're not trusting God with it.

And God can't work with what you won't release.

Not because He lacks power. But because His way of working requires your trust, not your control.

What Real Trust Looks Like

Real trust is not passive resignation.

It's not throwing your hands up and saying "Whatever happens, happens."

Real trust is active surrender.

It's hearing what Jesus said and doing it. It's abiding in His words moment by moment, even when you're terrified of what might happen if you let go.

Here's what it looks like practically:

1. Hear Jesus' Words

Not just read them. Not just agree with them. Not just memorize them.

Actually hear them. Let them sink into your heart. Let the Holy Spirit embed them in your mind.

"Do not let your hearts be troubled." "Trust in God; trust also in me." "My peace I give you." "Abide in Me, and I in you."

These aren't suggestions. They're commands. They're promises. They're lifelines.

2. Do What Jesus Says

This is where most people stop. They hear the words but don't do them.

Jesus said it plainly: "Why do you call me 'Lord, Lord,' and not do what I tell you?" (Luke 6:46)

If Jesus says "Don't let your heart be troubled," that means you actively take control of your heart through trust.

If He says "Abide in Me," that means you continually dwell in His words, letting them shape your moment-by-moment choices.

If He says "My peace I give you," that means you receive it by believing it's true and acting like it's true.

You can't abide in Jesus' words without obeying them. And you can't obey them without trusting God more than your own plan.

3. Release the Outcome to God

This is the part that terrifies us.

Because releasing the outcome means you might not get what you want. Your marriage might not be saved. Your child might not come back. Your health might not improve.

But here's what's also true:

Your frantically trying to control it hasn't worked anyway. Your managing and manipulating has only made you exhausted and more afraid.

What if you trusted God with the outcome and finally had peace in the process?

What if you did your part—the transformation, the obedience, the abiding—and left the results to Him?

What if you discovered that trusting God actually works better than trying to be God?

The Question That Will Set You Free

Here's the question I want you to sit with this week:

"What am I still trying to control that God is asking me to surrender?"

Be specific. Name it. The ONE thing you trust God with everything except.

Then ask yourself:

• Have my efforts to control this been working?
• Am I trusting God or just saying I trust God?
• Am I abiding in Jesus' words or just reading them?
• What would it look like to truly surrender this to God?
• What is God asking me to DO (not just pray about)?

Because here's the truth:

God is not asking you to surrender the thing you don't care about. He's not asking you to trust Him with the easy stuff.

He's asking you to surrender the ONE thing that matters most. The thing you're most terrified to let go of.

And He's asking you to abide in His words about that thing—to hear what He said and actually do it.

Not so He can teach you a lesson. But so He can set you free.

Free from the exhaustion of trying to control what you can't control. Free from the fear of what might happen if you let go. Free to experience His peace in the midst of the storm.

Free to discover that His plan might be better than yours all along.

What Happens When You Finally Let Go

I can't promise you that surrendering the ONE thing will give you the outcome you want.

But I can promise you this:

When you stop trying to control it and start trusting God with it, you will change. And that transformation is often what opens the door for the miracle you've been praying for.

Or it makes you strong enough to walk through a different door than you expected.

Either way, you win.

Because you become someone who truly trusts God instead of just talking about trusting God.

You become someone who abides in Christ instead of just quoting Bible verses.

You become someone who experiences God's peace in the midst of crisis instead of someone who's perpetually exhausted from trying to control everything.

And that transformation? That's the real miracle.

Not the circumstances changing (though they might).

But you changing. Finally becoming who God created you to be. Finally experiencing the peace and power that come from abiding in Christ.

That's what happens when you trust God with everything—including the ONE thing that actually matters.

Ready to Learn What Abiding Actually Means?

If you're tired of selective trust and ready to discover what it means to truly abide in Christ, my Following Christ online course will transform how you know and follow Jesus.

This 12-week journey takes you through:

• The unique role and power of Jesus' words
• Prayer that brings intimacy, answers, and power
• Faith that's transforming and miraculous
• What Jesus said about anxiety, worry, and fear
• The promises of Jesus and how to actually receive them

This isn't about more Bible knowledge. It's about intimate relationship with Jesus that transforms how you live moment by moment.

Need more support? Text me at (303) 435-2630  or email [email protected] if you're struggling to surrender that ONE thing to God.

Remember: Trusting God with everything except the one thing that matters most isn't trust—it's selective control. Real trust means abiding in His words even when you're terrified. Hear what Jesus said. Do what He says. Trust Him with the outcome. That's when you finally experience the peace you've been searching for.

What's the ONE thing you're holding back from God? Share in the comments—your honesty might give someone else permission to finally let go.