Intro: Today you learn how to achieve the most important thing you want from your relationship. "Life’s most persistent and urgent question is, ‘What are you doing for others?’" Martin Luther King Jr. What are you doing for your relationship?
Gentle startups use "I" statements. Notice the difference between saying "You make me so angry always leaving those dirty socks on the floor like that" versus "I get angry when I see those dirty socks on the floor like that."
You are not as good as you think you are.
No one wants to be around a jerk or meet their needs. It has never worked, maybe it is time to try a different approach.
If you want your feelings and needs to be understood and validated, no other choice exists.
The miracle of a...
The first three minutes
Three major errors in difficult conversations
“The key is to shift your thinking from I need to explain myself or deliver a message to I need to listen and learn more about what is going on,” Stone says.” Doug Stone
Before you start a difficult conversation. Ask three questions:
The joy of difficult conversations will lead you to the marriage you want.
25 years of missing out on the true joy resulting from pain
Where is the joy in pain?
Intimate Conversations (only available to VIP members)
One Incredible Exercise (only available to VIP members)
“In a world where great risks can bring extraordinary rewards, Tom Mullen has succeeded beyond his wildest dreams...” Now I hear it, I’ll never make it as a movie trailer voiceover guy, like that one guy, who’s done every movie trailer ever produced. Do you know his name? I looked it up and will tell you at the end of this intro. “But first, in a world where husbands and wives fight for control of the other, one couple takes a risk. They boldly enter into a difficult conversation.”
You’ll love this movie! Drama, comedy, suspense, and a happy ending...no, not that kind of happy ending! Pain is part of an intimate relationship but most of us can’t ever go there because we either avoid pain, or we turn pain into an unproductive hurt locker.
Today we learn how to have a difficult conversation. You’re going to learn about, wait for it, cue the dramatic music...the the soft start-up.
Welcome to the show, I’m your host, Michael...
Feeling flooded in tough conversations is miserable! Don't miss out on August 7th from 7pm to 9pm when I share the best thing I've ever learned to do when my heart rate gets too high in an argument.
Watch the webinar free, the toughest thing I ask of you is to register: https://www.smalleyinstitute.com/offers/FooijErY
Your marriage is hard, now get over it
I’m continuing in the series, The Warriors Marriage, today is perhaps the simplest concept and the hardest way to be a warrior in your marriage. Your marriage is hard, circumstances seem impossible, now get over it.
Welcome to the podcast, I’m your host Michael Smalley and next, don't ignore this podcast. Keep listening. Keep trusting. Never quit, never surrender.
But first, a word from my sponsor...me! Put the podcast on hold and find hope, a way out of your current nightmare..
Attend the free webinar on August 7th, Friday night from 7pm to 9pm CST. I’m going to spend two-hours unpacking today’s strategies. Plus plenty of time for Q&A and very cool downloadable couple's exercise you can print out and use right away.
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“No matter how bad things are, you can always make things worse.” ― Randy Pausch, The Last Lecture
Randolph Frederick Pausch (October...
Welcome, “Today is the 2nd part of my series on the warrior’s marriage, and you’re not going to like it...well...you’ll eventually like it but first I have to shove a few things down your throat for a second, maybe a minute. “Welcome to the Inspiritaitonal Comedy podcast with Michael Smalley, learning doesn’t have to be boring!”
The pain is a good thang!
“There's a reason a cold beer tastes better after you've mowed the lawn or a hot chocolate tastes better after you shovel the...
Dr. John Gottman writes:
We all know what it’s like to get carried off by some rough emotional currents when we are dealing with our mate. These aren’t the day-to-day flashes of anger or hurt. I am talking about the giant waves of bad feelings that completely knock you down and take any rational thought with them. This is how it usually goes. You are in the middle of a conflict or disagreement, your partner says or does something, and suddenly you fall down a deep dark rabbit hole. The only notes you register are rage, hurt, panic, and fear.
Ever think, "Why do our arguments feel insane? I end up overwhelmed and totally discouraged"? On August 7th learn why "Flooding" derails your relationship. More importantly, learn how to eliminate "Flooding" from your arguments!
If you want to turn arguments from miserable moments to opportunities for deeper intimacy, educate don't degenerate by:
Who are you?
These choices reflect who we are and what we value.
To be more satisfied in your relationship means living in harmony with who you really are.
28 Statements from Jesus that will Transform Your Marriage
Part 1 - The critical importance of intimacy with Jesus
Repent Matthew 4:17
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