Look in the Mirror and Tell the Truth

Once you know what you are protecting, there is only one way through it. Honesty. The real kind. The kind where you look in the mirror and tell the truth about what is actually there.

But I have to be careful here, because a lot of us learned a counterfeit version of this. We learned to beat ourselves up and call it honesty. To confess constantly and change nothing. To run ourselves down so thoroughly that it feels like humility, when it is actually just a more spiritual way of staying stuck.

That is not honesty. That is self-flagellation, and it is a game you can play with yourself forever.

Real honesty has a different fingerprint. It brings conviction instead of condemnation. Freedom instead of fear. It makes you softer toward the people around you, not harder on yourself. If your honesty is producing shame, exhaustion, and more hiding, it is not the real thing. And God has never once confused the two.

I will tell you about a small moment in the mirror from just the other day, where I caught myself about to slip into an old pattern, and had to interrupt it in real time.

If you are listening to this and thinking about your marriage, here is what willing looks like. Two days. Just the two of you and me. We find the pattern underneath every fight you keep having, and you leave with tools that work the moment you walk back in your own front door. Most couples get in within two or three weeks, and the first conversation is free. Learn more at https://www.smalleyinstitute.com/intensive

You can also get the full Whatever It Takes series, every episode in audio and full transcript, and support this podcast, at https://www.smalleyinstitute.com/offers/jysNpzhW

Text me at (303) 435-2630 or visit smalleyinstitute.com