This is Part 3 in a series on mental safety. If you're just joining us:

• Part 1: The Safety No One Talks About
• Part 2: What's Attacking Your Mind

In Part 1, we introduced the concept of mental safety—feeling safe in your own mind. In Part 2, we named the enemies: lies, rumination, hypervigilance, intrusive thoughts, other people's opinions, and cognitive distortions.

Now it's time to fight back.

Today I want to give you practical strategies for creating mental safety. I want to help you build what I'm calling a "safe room" in your mind—a place of refuge when the attacks come. A space where peace is possible even when everything outside is chaos.

Let's build it together.

Strategy #1: Take Every Thought Captive (For Real This Time)

You've probably heard 2 Corinthians 10:5 before: "Take every thought captive to obey Christ."

But what does that actually look like in practice?

Here's how I think about it: thoughts are visitors, not residents. They knock on the door of your mind. You get to decide whether they come in, how long they stay, and when they leave.

Most of us treat thoughts like they have automatic entry. A thought shows up, and we just... accept it. We believe it. We engage with it. We let it set up camp and start redecorating.

Taking thoughts captive means pausing at the door. It means asking:

• Is this thought true? Not "does it feel true"—feelings lie. Is there actual evidence for this thought?
• Is this thought helpful? Even if it's partially true, is it moving me toward health or away from it?
• Is this thought from God? Does it align with what Scripture says about me, about Him, about my situation?

If a thought fails these tests, you don't have to let it in. You can acknowledge it—"I notice I'm having the thought that I'm a failure"—without believing it or engaging with it.

This takes practice. A lot of practice. But over time, you can learn to be a bouncer at the door of your own mind.

Strategy #2: Evict the Lies

Some lies have been living in your mind so long they feel like family. They've been there for years—maybe decades. They feel like facts.

But they're not facts. They're lies that overstayed their welcome.

Here's a process for evicting them:

Step 1: Identify the lie. Get specific. Not just "I feel bad about myself" but "I believe I'm unlovable" or "I believe I'll never be enough."

Step 2: Trace its origin. Where did this lie come from? Who first spoke it over you? When did you start believing it? Sometimes just seeing where a lie came from loosens its grip.

Step 3: Replace it with truth. What does God say about this? Find a Scripture that directly contradicts the lie. Write it down. Memorize it. This becomes your weapon.

Step 4: Repeat—out loud if necessary. When the lie surfaces, speak the truth. Not just think it—speak it. There's power in hearing yourself declare what's actually true.

This isn't a one-time fix. Lies that have lived in your mind for years won't leave after one eviction notice. You'll have to escort them out repeatedly. But each time you do, they get weaker. And the truth gets stronger.

Strategy #3: Set Boundaries on Your Inputs

You can't create mental safety while constantly consuming mental junk.

What are you letting into your mind? What are you watching, reading, listening to, scrolling through? Every input either contributes to mental safety or erodes it.

I'm not saying you need to live in a bubble. But I am saying you need to be intentional.

Social media. Is it making your mind feel safer or more anxious? Are you comparing, spiraling, or doomscrolling? Maybe it's time for some unfollows. Or time limits. Or a break entirely.

News. Staying informed is fine. Being perpetually plugged into the outrage machine is not. Your brain wasn't designed for 24/7 crisis consumption.

Conversations. Are there people in your life who consistently leave you feeling worse about yourself? Who plant seeds of doubt, criticism, or fear? You may not be able to avoid them entirely, but you can limit exposure and protect yourself emotionally when you're with them.

Entertainment. What you consume shapes how you think. If you're constantly taking in anxiety, violence, and despair, don't be surprised when your mind produces anxiety, violence, and despair.

Guarding your mind starts with guarding the gates.

Strategy #4: Build a "Safe Room"

In some homes, there's a safe room—a reinforced space you can retreat to when danger comes. Tornadoes, intruders, whatever the threat, you go to the safe room.

You can build one of these in your mind.

Here's what I mean: create a mental space you can retreat to when your thoughts are attacking you. A place of truth, peace, and safety that you've prepared in advance.

What goes in your mental safe room?

• Scripture. Specific verses that speak to your specific lies and fears. Not vague nice thoughts—targeted truth. Philippians 4:7 for anxiety. Romans 8:1 for shame. Psalm 23 for fear. Know them by heart so you can access them without looking them up.

• Truth statements. Things that are true about you regardless of how you feel. "I am loved." "I am not alone." "God is for me." "This feeling will pass." "I've survived hard things before."

• Anchoring memories. Times when God came through. Moments of breakthrough, provision, rescue. When your mind is spiraling into worst-case scenarios, these memories remind you that God has a track record.

• A physical anchor. Sometimes it helps to connect your mental safe room to something physical. A deep breath. A hand on your chest. A specific posture. A place you go. Something that signals to your nervous system: we're entering the safe room now.

When the attacks come—and they will—you don't have to stand in the open and take fire. You can retreat to your safe room, regroup, and come back out when you're ready.

Strategy #5: Stop Engaging Rumination

Here's the thing about rumination: it needs your participation to survive.

Rumination is like a treadmill. It only runs if you keep running on it. The moment you step off, it stops.

The problem is, rumination feels productive. It feels like you're solving something. So you keep running.

Here are some ways to step off:

Name it. When you catch yourself ruminating, say (out loud if possible): "I'm ruminating. This isn't productive. I'm stepping off."

Time-box it. Give yourself 10 minutes to think about it—really think—and then be done. Set a timer if you have to. When the timer goes off, you're done. Move on.

Change your state. Rumination thrives in stillness. Get up. Move. Go outside. Do something physical. It's hard to ruminate when you're exercising, working with your hands, or engaging with the real world.

Write it down. Sometimes getting thoughts out of your head and onto paper breaks the loop. Write down what you're ruminating about. Then close the notebook and walk away.

Ask one question: "Is there an action I can take?" If yes, take it. If no, let it go. Rumination is endless analysis without action. Either act or release.

Strategy #6: Invite God In

Here's the most important thing I'll say in this entire series:

You weren't meant to create mental safety alone.

Philippians 4:7 says, "And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."

Notice: God's peace GUARDS your mind. That's protection language. That's safety language. That's what we've been talking about this whole series.

But look at what comes before that verse—verses 6-7 together:

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."

There's a pathway here: bring it to God → receive His peace → experience a guarded mind.

You can use every strategy I've listed—take thoughts captive, evict lies, set boundaries, build a safe room, stop ruminating—but if you're trying to do it all in your own strength, you'll exhaust yourself.

Invite God into your mind. Not just when things are calm, but when they're chaotic. Especially when they're chaotic.

"God, my mind doesn't feel safe right now. I don't know how to make the thoughts stop. I need Your peace to guard me. I'm inviting You in."

That's a prayer He loves to answer.

Your Mind Can Become a Refuge

I want to leave you with hope.

If your mind has been a war zone for years—maybe decades—it can feel like that's just how it is. Like you're stuck with an unsafe mind forever.

You're not.

Minds can heal. Thought patterns can change. Lies can be evicted. Rumination can stop. Hypervigilance can calm down. Peace can come.

It takes work. It takes intention. It takes time. And it takes God.

But your mind can become a refuge. A place of safety instead of chaos. A home instead of a war zone.

That's worth fighting for.

Start building your safe room today. One truth at a time. One evicted lie at a time. One moment of peace at a time.

You've got this. And you're not alone.

If your mind AND your marriage are both feeling unsafe, let me help. The Marriage Breakthrough Experience is a 4-hour virtual intensive where we dig deep, uncover what's really driving your pain, and give you practical tools to break the cycle—all in one focused session.

✅ 4-hour virtual session (schedule any day, Mon-Sun) ✅ 30 days of unlimited text support with me ✅ 30 days of Smalley Sojourners group access ✅ Works even if only one partner is committed

$697 — because your mind and your marriage are both worth fighting for.

Schedule Your Breakthrough →

You can also text me at (303) 435-2630  or email [email protected].

What strategy resonates most with you? What's one thing you're going to try this week? Share in the comments—I'd love to hear from you.