Smalley Relationship Assessment

Discover Your Personality, Emotional Triggers & Relationship Patterns

Welcome! This comprehensive assessment will help you understand:

Your personality type (Lion, Otter, Golden Retriever, or Beaver)
Your top emotional buttons that get triggered in conflict
Your conflict patterns and relationship health
Your top relational needs

Time to complete: 10-15 minutes

Please answer honestly based on how you typically feel and behave in your relationship.

First Name *

Last Name *

Email Address *

Phone Number

Section 1: Personality Assessment

Rate how much each statement describes you: 0 = Not at all, 1 = Somewhat, 2 = Mostly, 3 = Very Much

1. I like to take charge and make decisions

0
Not at all

1
Somewhat

2
Mostly

3
Very Much

2. I am competitive and goal-driven

0
Not at all

1
Somewhat

2
Mostly

3
Very Much

3. I am direct and confident in my communication

0
Not at all

1
Somewhat

2
Mostly

3
Very Much

4. I am enthusiastic and love having fun

0
Not at all

1
Somewhat

2
Mostly

3
Very Much

5. I am optimistic and enjoy variety

0
Not at all

1
Somewhat

2
Mostly

3
Very Much

6. I am very verbal and love to motivate others

0
Not at all

1
Somewhat

2
Mostly

3
Very Much

7. I am calm, patient, and a good listener

0
Not at all

1
Somewhat

2
Mostly

3
Very Much

8. I am loyal and enjoy routine

0
Not at all

1
Somewhat

2
Mostly

3
Very Much

9. I am warm, sensitive, and a peacemaker

0
Not at all

1
Somewhat

2
Mostly

3
Very Much

10. I am practical, factual, and detail-oriented

0
Not at all

1
Somewhat

2
Mostly

3
Very Much

11. I am analytical and perfectionistic

0
Not at all

1
Somewhat

2
Mostly

3
Very Much

12. I am scheduled, orderly, and quality-focused

0
Not at all

1
Somewhat

2
Mostly

3
Very Much

Section 2: Emotional Buttons

Rate how often you feel this way in your relationship: 0 = Never, 1 = Rarely, 2 = Sometimes, 3 = Often

13. I feel helpless or controlled

0
Never

1
Rarely

2
Sometimes

3
Often

14. I feel rejected or disconnected

0
Never

1
Rarely

2
Sometimes

3
Often

15. I feel like a failure or inadequate

0
Never

1
Rarely

2
Sometimes

3
Often

16. I feel abandoned or alone

0
Never

1
Rarely

2
Sometimes

3
Often

17. I feel defective (like something is wrong with me)

0
Never

1
Rarely

2
Sometimes

3
Often

18. I feel invalidated (my thoughts and feelings aren't valued)

0
Never

1
Rarely

2
Sometimes

3
Often

19. I feel judged or criticized

0
Never

1
Rarely

2
Sometimes

3
Often

20. I feel unimportant or ignored

0
Never

1
Rarely

2
Sometimes

3
Often

Section 3: Conflict Patterns

Rate how often these patterns occur in conflicts: 0 = Never, 1 = Rarely, 2 = Sometimes, 3 = Often

21. When we argue, one of us withdraws or leaves the scene

0
Never

1
Rarely

2
Sometimes

3
Often

22. Little arguments escalate into ugly fights with accusations and name-calling

0
Never

1
Rarely

2
Sometimes

3
Often

23. My partner criticizes or belittles my opinions, feelings, or desires

0
Never

1
Rarely

2
Sometimes

3
Often

24. My partner views my words or actions more negatively than I intend

0
Never

1
Rarely

2
Sometimes

3
Often

25. When we have a problem to solve, it feels like we're on opposite teams

0
Never

1
Rarely

2
Sometimes

3
Often

26. I hold back from telling my partner what I really think and feel

0
Never

1
Rarely

2
Sometimes

3
Often

27. I think seriously about what it would be like to date or marry someone else

0
Never

1
Rarely

2
Sometimes

3
Often

28. I feel lonely in this relationship

0
Never

1
Rarely

2
Sometimes

3
Often

Section 4: Relationship Needs

Rate how important each need is to you: 0 = Not important, 1 = Somewhat important, 2 = Important, 3 = Very important

29. Security (relationship harmony, freedom from fear)

0
Not important

1
Somewhat

2
Important

3
Very important

30. Acceptance (being loved unconditionally)

0
Not important

1
Somewhat

2
Important

3
Very important

31. Affection (physical touch and tenderness)

0
Not important

1
Somewhat

2
Important

3
Very important

32. Appreciation (gratitude for what I accomplish)

0
Not important

1
Somewhat

2
Important

3
Very important

33. Approval (affirmation and blessing)

0
Not important

1
Somewhat

2
Important

3
Very important

34. Attention (being noticed and cared for)

0
Not important

1
Somewhat

2
Important

3
Very important

35. Respect (being valued and esteemed)

0
Not important

1
Somewhat

2
Important

3
Very important

36. Encouragement (hope and support)

0
Not important

1
Somewhat

2
Important

3
Very important

37. Comfort (consolation in difficult times)

0
Not important

1
Somewhat

2
Important

3
Very important

38. Support (help with problems and struggles)

0
Not important

1
Somewhat

2
Important

3
Very important

Section 5: Commitment Level

Rate your agreement: 0 = Strongly disagree, 1 = Disagree, 2 = Neutral, 3 = Agree, 4 = Strongly agree, 5 = Absolutely

39. I am committed to making this relationship work

0
Strongly
disagree

1
Disagree

2
Neutral

3
Agree

4
Strongly
agree

5
Absolutely

40. I believe this relationship can be restored and thrive

0
Strongly
disagree

1
Disagree

2
Neutral

3
Agree

4
Strongly
agree

5
Absolutely

Section 6: Emotional Wellbeing

Rate how often you experience these: 0 = Never, 1 = Rarely, 2 = Sometimes, 3 = Often

41. I feel anxious, worried, or overwhelmed

0
Never

1
Rarely

2
Sometimes

3
Often

42. I feel sad, depressed, or hopeless

0
Never

1
Rarely

2
Sometimes

3
Often

Section 7: Relationship Safety

Rate how often these occur: 0 = Never, 1 = Rarely, 2 = Sometimes, 3 = Often

43. My partner has been physically aggressive (pushing, grabbing, throwing things)

0
Never

1
Rarely

2
Sometimes

3
Often

44. My partner makes threats or tries to control me

0
Never

1
Rarely

2
Sometimes

3
Often

45. I feel afraid of my partner's reactions

0
Never

1
Rarely

2
Sometimes

3
Often

46. My partner tries to isolate me from friends or family

0
Never

1
Rarely

2
Sometimes

3
Often

Your Assessment Results

Online Courses

Keys to Lasting Loving Relationships

You get access to over 20 hours of Dr. Gary Smalley's best-selling video series of all time! Instant access to 19 lessons In-depth lesson content Our 30 day money back guarantee

$84.00 USD

ADD TO CART

The DNA of Relationships

You get instant access to six powerful lessons to help make any relationship stronger and more satisfying.

$47.00 USD

ADD TO CART

Rise

In RISE, Michael shares his authentic journey of recovery through a Christ-centered approach to the 12 steps. This isn't typical Christian recovery—it's honest, practical, and filled with tools that actually work when life gets messy.

$12.94 USD

ADD TO CART

Overcoming Codependency

Embark on a journey through the complexities of codependent behavior and discover the empowering path to freedom from its hold.

$15.00 USD

ADD TO CART

Transform Your Marriage in 31 Days

Build the marriage of your dreams with powerful devotionals, clinically proven enrichment, and just plain old fun together!

$31.00 USD

ADD TO CART

Letting Go In Love

The Essential Relationship Skill You Never Learned! Discover the one skill that will transform every relationship in your life - from marriage to parenting, friendships to family dynamics.

$17.00 USD

ADD TO CART

Smalley Relationship Assessment

Your Assessment Results

Online Courses

Keys to Lasting Loving Relationships

$84.00 USD

The DNA of Relationships

$47.00 USD

Rise

$12.94 USD

Overcoming Codependency

$15.00 USD

Transform Your Marriage in 31 Days

$31.00 USD

Letting Go In Love

$17.00 USD

Join Our Free Trial