Intensives Coaching Store Articles About Log In

Marriage Breakthrough: Relationship Assessments

Please go through all five assessments on this page, and thank you for your honesty and for sharing your stories with me!

Relationship Health Assessment

Take this 8-question assessment to understand the current state of your relationship. Answer honestly for the most accurate results.

1. When we argue, one of us withdraws, not wanting to talk about it anymore, or leaves the scene
2. Little arguments escalate into ugly fights, with accusations, criticisms, name calling, or bringing up past hurts
3. My partner criticizes or belittles my opinions, feelings, or desires
4. My partner seems to view my words or actions more negatively than I mean them to be
5. When we have a problem to solve, it is as if we are on opposite teams
6. I hold back from telling my partner what I really think and feel
7. I think seriously about what it would be like to date or marry someone else
8. I feel lonely in this relationship
Score: / 24

Send Your Results to Dr. Smalley

✓ Results Sent Successfully!

Dr. Smalley has received your assessment results and will review them before your session.

Your Next Assessment: Emotional Buttons

🔴 Emotional Buttons Discovery

Identify your top emotional triggers - the things that instantly push you into reactive mode. Understanding your buttons is the first step to managing them.

📋 Select your TOP 3 emotional buttons from the list below (exactly 3)

Selected: 0 / 3
Your Top 3 Emotional Buttons

💡 Why This Matters

These emotional buttons are your personal triggers - when pushed, they can cause you to react in ways that damage your relationship. In your breakthrough session, we'll work on recognizing these buttons before they get pushed and developing healthier responses when they do.

Send Your Results to Dr. Smalley

✓ Results Sent Successfully!

Dr. Smalley has received your emotional buttons assessment and will use this to personalize your breakthrough session.

Your Next Assessment: Core Needs

💚 Core Needs Assessment

Discover your top relationship needs. Understanding what you need most helps you communicate clearly and helps your partner know how to love you well.

1. I feel fully accepted by my partner for who I am, not who they want me to be
2. My partner regularly expresses love and affection toward me
3. My partner treats me with respect, even during disagreements
4. I feel valued and appreciated for what I contribute to our relationship
5. My partner truly listens when I share my thoughts and feelings
6. I feel understood by my partner - like they really "get" me
7. I feel emotionally safe with my partner - I can be vulnerable without fear
8. I trust my partner completely and feel secure in our relationship
9. I feel satisfied with the level of physical affection in our relationship
10. Our physical and emotional intimacy feels connected and fulfilling
11. My partner prioritizes spending quality time with me
12. When we're together, I feel like I have my partner's full attention
Your Top 3 Core Needs

💡 Why This Matters

These are your highest-priority needs in your relationship. When these needs are consistently met, you feel loved, secure, and fulfilled. When they're unmet, you feel disconnected and frustrated. In your breakthrough session, we'll help you communicate these needs clearly and help your partner understand how to meet them.

Send Your Results to Dr. Smalley

✓ Results Sent Successfully!

Dr. Smalley has received your core needs assessment and will use this to help you create a more fulfilling relationship.

Your Next Assessment: Conflict Patterns

🔥 Conflict Patterns Assessment

Discover how you typically react during conflict. Understanding your patterns is the first step to breaking destructive cycles and responding in healthier ways.

1. When conflict arises, I shut down emotionally and stop talking
2. I leave the room or avoid the conversation when things get heated
3. I minimize issues or change the subject to avoid uncomfortable topics
4. I raise my voice or become more intense when I'm upset
5. I bring up past hurts or old arguments during current conflicts
6. I use extreme language like "always," "never," or "you always do this"
7. I make excuses or justify my behavior instead of taking responsibility
8. I counter-attack or turn the blame back on my partner
9. I play the victim or act like I'm being unfairly attacked
10. I assume the worst about my partner's intentions or motives
11. I interpret neutral comments or actions as attacks or criticism
12. I mentally keep score of wrongs or believe "they'll never change"
Your Primary Conflict Pattern
All Your Conflict Patterns

💡 Why This Matters

These conflict patterns are destructive to relationships. They prevent resolution, damage connection, and create negative cycles. The good news? Once you're aware of your patterns, you can change them. In your breakthrough session, we'll work on recognizing these patterns in the moment and replacing them with healthier responses that actually solve problems and strengthen your bond.

Send Your Results to Dr. Smalley

✓ Results Sent Successfully!

Dr. Smalley has received your conflict patterns assessment and will help you break these cycles in your breakthrough session.

Your Next Assessment: Your Marriage Story

📝 Your Marriage Story

Help Dr. Smalley understand your relationship journey - the good, the challenging, and what you hope to change. Your honest answers will help personalize your breakthrough session.

Tell us your love story - where and how did your relationship begin?

0/500

What drew you to them in the beginning?

0/300

What do you appreciate most about them today?

0/300

What do you want your marriage to look like? What would make it feel successful?

0/400

Be specific - what's causing the most pain or frustration?

0/500

What cycles do you find yourselves stuck in?

0/400

What topics or situations trigger the most conflict?

0/300
Not hopeful at all Very hopeful

Why did you choose this number?

0/300

What would make this experience successful for you?

0/400

Any additional context, concerns, or information that would be helpful (optional)

0/500
✓ Thank You for Sharing Your Story

Your openness and honesty will help Dr. Smalley understand your relationship and create a personalized breakthrough experience for you.

Send Your Story to Dr. Smalley

✓ Story Sent Successfully!

Dr. Smalley has received your marriage story and will review it carefully before your breakthrough session. Thank you for your courage and honesty.