Stop Reacting. Start Understanding. Transform Your Relationships.

Why do the same conflicts keep happening? Because your emotional "buttons" are getting pushed, triggering automatic reactions that damage your most important relationships. The problem isn't your circumstances, your partner, or even the conflict itself—it's how you react when those buttons get pushed.

This powerful 3-step assessment helps you identify:

  • Your core emotional triggers (the "buttons" that get pushed in conflict)
  • Your automatic reactions (how you respond when upset—escalation, withdrawal, belittling, or negative beliefs)
  • Your underlying fear pattern (fear of being controlled vs. fear of disconnection)

In just 10-15 minutes, you'll discover the specific patterns that keep you stuck in destructive conflict cycles. You'll learn exactly which buttons drive your behavior and how you typically react when they're triggered.

Here's the truth: You can't control your circumstances or change other people, but you CAN control your reactions. Once you understand your core buttons, you gain the power to pause, choose healthier responses, and break free from the conflict dance that's been sabotaging your relationships.

Stop wasting energy trying to control what you can't control. Start working on what you can—your own reactions. The results will surprise you.

Knowledge is power. Discovering your core buttons is the first step toward making a positive impact on your most important relationships.

 

Core Buttons Assessment

Core Buttons Assessment

Discover what triggers your emotional reactions

Welcome! This assessment will help you identify your emotional triggers ("buttons") and how you typically react when they get pushed. Understanding these patterns is the first step to breaking destructive conflict cycles and building healthier relationships.

Time to complete: 10-15 minutes

Step 1: Identify the Conflict
Think of a recent conflict, argument, or negative situation with someone that really "pushed your buttons" or upset you. Maybe you thought: "If only you would stop saying or doing [X], I would not be so upset."
Step 2: Identify Your Feelings (Buttons)
How did this conflict make you feel? Check all feelings that apply, then click the star (⭐) next to your TOP 3-4 most important feelings.
⭐ Click the star next to your 3-4 MOST IMPORTANT feelings
Step 3: Identify Your Reactions
How do you react when these buttons get pushed? Check all reactions that apply, then click the star (⭐) next to your TOP 3-4 most common reactions.
⭐ Click the star next to your 3-4 MOST COMMON reactions

"The problem is your reaction to your button getting pushed, not your circumstances."
Provided by Smalley Institute | www.smalleyinstitute.com

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